


large intelligence & deep hearts

by ethereousdelirious



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous Slash, Caretaking, Dehydration, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Illness, M/M, Sickfic, Vomiting, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethereousdelirious/pseuds/ethereousdelirious
Summary: Essek, recently recovered from a bout of illness, pushes himself too hard and collapses in front of Caleb. Caleb, utterly out of his depth, sends in reinforcements.(AKA I wanted Essek sickfic so I wrote Essek sickfic)
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Essek Thelyss, Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 6
Kudos: 174





	large intelligence & deep hearts

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when the M9 was still exploring the Happy Fun Ball. I couldn't stop thinking about Essek getting sick while they were gone and them getting back to Rosohna to find him completely wrecked.  
> It's fun to think about but I had no interest in reading or writing a fic where a character is already as sick as they're going to get, hence this.
> 
> Also I tagged it slash even though there's no explicit relationship mentioned bc almost everything Essek does in this fic is motivated by his massive, massive crush on Caleb.
> 
> Lastly, in case you missed the tag: This Fic Contains Graphic Depictions of Vomiting. Like. The vomiting scene is the whole reason I wrote this fic. Tread carefully.

Essek wavered on the threshold. Caduceus' chimes had stopped their singing and now Caleb stared at him in disapproving silence, studying his face with unabashed boldness.

Caleb let his eyes widen, his eyebrows raise in a solicitous expression. "Essek, are you well?" He had never seen Essek wobble in the air like this before. True, the shifting was limited to a mere rise and fall of no more than half an inch every few seconds, but it was unusual.

Even so, it might not have been a cause for concern had Essek looked like his usual self. As it happened, he didn't. The skin of his face and lips had paled to an unhealthy lavender hue. His eyes had an unusual dullness to them, like he was struggling to keep them open, and his mantle seemed to be weighing him down.

Still, he straightened at Caleb's inquiry, his hands rising almost subconsciously to brush imaginary dust off his front. "May I come in?" he asked.

Caleb backed up immediately. "Oh, yes, of course, excuse me."

Essek followed him in. "Where are the others?" he asked, looking about cautiously.

"I, ah…" Caleb hesitated, searching for the phrasing. "I asked them to give us some breathing space today."

"I appreciate it." Essek's voice was thin and reedy. He coughed lightly.

"Can I get you some water?" Caleb asked, eager to make up for his rudeness earlier, unintentional though it was.

"I'm alright, thank you," Essek said. He swept a hand back through his immaculately styled hair. "To answer your question, I had been ill while you and your friends were away." He spoke stiffly, as if he thought Caleb was going to shame him for it, and was determined to stop it before it began.

"You are recovered now, though?" Caleb asked pointedly.

Essek hesitated before answering.

"Essek," Caleb prompted.

"I am… well enough." Essek clapped his hands once. "Your lessons."

"Yes, of course." Caleb started to walk for the study, looking over his shoulder to make sure Essek was following.

"I'm not an invalid," Essek snapped, much to Caleb's surprise.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend--" Caleb started, but Essek put up a hand to stop him.

"My apologies, that was out of line." He sighed and bobbed dangerously in the air for a moment. "I may still be a bit tired."

"I hope you gave yourself some time to relax," Caleb said mildly. He opened the study door and followed Essek through.

Essek usually stayed standing for the greater part of these lessons, rising from his chair to sweep about the room as he spoke, illustrating his points with esoteric hand gestures. Today, he waited for Caleb to fetch his notebook and sit down, then sat next to him.

Caleb threw him a sharp look, noting again just how pale Essek looked. Essek glanced at him sideways and raised his eyebrow until Caleb looked away, blushing at having been caught.

The heat faded quickly from his cheeks by degrees. Caleb glanced up again. Essek looked  _ exhausted _ , but Caleb bit his tongue. Despite everything, they really didn't know each other all that well. If Essek said he was fine, then he was fine. It wasn't Caleb's business.

Essek produced a book of his own and flipped open to a diagram that Caleb could just barely begin to grasp.

"I understand you don't have much interest in gravity manipulation, but I thought you might find this spell useful in combat situations." He cleared his throat again, as his voice had gone thin again, almost rasping. "Excuse me." He coughed lightly into his sleeve, away from Caleb.

Caleb studied the page Essek had open, trying to piece together the glyphs and runes into something he could understand. Essek's handwriting had a tendency toward flourishes that Caleb's didn't, and many of the symbols he used were unfamiliar.

Essek stopped coughing and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. "My apologies," he said weakly. He blinked, his eyes staying shut for a fraction of a second too long. "The spell."

"Ja, the spell," Caleb said. Despite everything he  _ did _ want to learn it. He pointed at the markings Essek had made at the top right of the page. "Verbal, material, somatic?"

"You're picking up Undercommon?" Essek seemed genuinely impressed.

"Not so much." Caleb lowered his eyes. "I just, ah, remembered. From the last time."

"Still," Essek said, "it's been a while. You have a good memory."

"Ja, that I do."

"Now." Essek pointed to a glyph on the page. His finger wavered in the air. His hand was shaking. He tapped the glyph instead and drew his hand back. "This is the sign for mercury."

"Oh,  _ mercury _ ," Caleb said. He scribbled it down next to his own sign for mercury, taking care to transcribe it as faithfully as possible. "Your handwriting is, um, is more elegant than I am used to seeing."

"Thank you," Essek said. He muffled a cough behind his lips. "Now, mercury--" His voice grated. He coughed again, more forcefully this time. Then he took a sharp, shallow breath with just a hint of quavering vocalization behind it.

He was in pain.

Caleb looked sharply at Essek, the sickly paleness of his face and the shadows under his eyes. It was becoming stark and clear now that Essek was in no shape to be out of bed no matter how desperately he tried to mask it.

"You know," Caleb said with forced casualty, "perhaps we might, ah, continue this another day? Not that I don't appreciate the trouble, of course, but I…" He hadn't thought this far ahead, he needed some sort of excuse so Essek wouldn't feel embarrassed about cancelling the lesson, and he had nothing.

"Calm down," Essek said. "I am alright. The cough is lingering, that's all."

"Were you very ill?" Caleb couldn't help but ask.

Essek flushed. "I was bedridden for a few days, nothing more than that." He tapped the book again. "Please try to focus. We don't have a lot of time."

"That is true," Caleb agreed. "The others will return before too long as well. They did want to see you."

Essek winced and lifted a hand to his forehead. "I do, of course, want to see them as well, but perhaps today is not the  _ best _ time for a social call."

"Of course not," Caleb said. "You should get some rest."

"Subtle," Essek murmured. He pointed once more to the mercury glyph. " _ As _ I was saying the basis of this spell is mercury. This is an older spell; I do believe it was written before the harmful effects of long-term exposure to mercury were made widely-known."

"So mercury is one of the components," Caleb said out loud, wanting to be perfectly clear before he made any notes.

"Yes, but there are substitutions," Essek said. He muffled a yawn behind his forearm and shook his head slightly. Again, his eyes stayed closed for slightly too long. A slight crease appeared between his brows. He sighed through his nose and dipped his head so he could rub irritably at his temple.

Caleb swallowed. "Essek, if you're not feeling well--"

Essek seemed poised to disagree but his argument was disrupted by a full-body shudder and another pained exhale. He swallowed hard, collecting himself. "Very well, another day. I have other work that n-needs attending to." He got to his feet and started to hover.

Caleb didn't think it was possible for Essek to pale further, but his face was now ashen, a truly worrisome shade of gray where it was normally purple-black. Sweat had broken out on his brow. "Are you alright?"

"A m-moment," Essek slurred, his eyes far away.

Whatever spell was keeping him aloft broke abruptly and Essek fell gracelessly to the floor and didn't move.

Caleb knelt beside his head, muttering to himself in Zemnian. "Oh, shit, shit, shit. This is bad, this is bad." Essek was breathing at least. Caleb pressed the back of his hand to Essek's head and frowned in confusion. No fever. Then what…? Caleb looked Essek over, touching him lightly when he felt it was necessary, but Essek didn't appear to be wounded either.

He was just  _ pale _ .

"You stubborn asshole," Caleb sighed, still in Zemnian. Just in case.

A few heartbeats passed and Essek started to stir. He murmured something in Undercommon.

"Open your eyes, Essek," Caleb instructed in Common.

Essek did. He sat up slowly, not seeming to realize that he had to lean on Caleb for support the whole way. He was shivering violently now, and speaking feverishly in Common. "...really don't have time for this, I have a meeting to get to and them I am expected--"

"Essek," Caleb said sternly. "You are currently on the floor in the study of my home because you passed out, and you are slumped against my chest like a doll because you are too weak to sit up on your own. You are down for the count. Please just admit that you feel terrible and can't do any more work today."

"I do feel terrible," Essek admitted, to Caleb’s surprise. "But I don't have time--"

"No." Caleb shook his head and sighed. "I sent away the two people who would actually be useful in this situation,  _ natürlich.  _ Come on, let me help you onto the couch."

Essek seemed too stunned by Caleb's sudden assertiveness to argue, and he let Caleb pull him into a reclining position on the couch.

"Try to sleep," Caleb said. "I'll get you some water-- Ah." 

"What?"

"When was the last time you ate or drank something?" Essek looked away suddenly, which was all the answer Caleb needed. "You are dehydrated," he said with a nod, pleased at having worked out the answer.

"Ah," Essek echoed faintly. He leaned his head against the cushioned armrest and closed his eyes.

"Essek," Caleb's voice was suddenly serious. "I don't mean to, ehm, hold you hostage here. You are welcome to leave if that is what you want."

Essek covered another yawn with his hand. "I don't want to be a bother but… You're right, Caleb." His head listed to the side and he rubbed his face with both hands, wincing.

"Water," Caleb said. "I'll ask Caduceus and Jester for advice when they get home."

" _ Oh."  _ Essek tried to rise and failed, having to brace himself against the side of the couch. "Are they all going to… To come in here? I do not dislike them but there are so many of you, I don't know if…" He trailed off.

"We'll keep it quiet," Caleb promised. "Get some rest."

Essek watched Caleb walk out. Perhaps this was for the best.

  
  


Essek listened to Caleb's footsteps on the stairs and the clattering of dishes in the kitchen, shifting listlessly on the couch. He felt  _ awful _ , barely well enough to string thoughts together. Even just lying there on the couch left his chest heaving with shallow breaths, and the room spun whenever he closed his eyes. His head pounded hard enough that nausea pooled high and frantic in his stomach, and he swallowed frequently against it.

"Are you still with me?" Caleb's voice came from the doorway. He had a glass in one hand and a pitcher in the other. He set the pitcher on a desk and knelt by Essek. "Can you sit up?"

Essek felt he had worn out his ability to speak for the moment, so he just propped himself up on his elbows and let Caleb press the glass into his unsteady hand.

"Try to drink it all," Caleb said.

Essek's stomach protested, but he kept drinking, not bothering to surface for air until the glass was empty. He panted slightly and wiped his mouth. "Th-thank you, Caleb." He gave Caleb the glass back and slumped back against the armrest. He didn't feel any better.

"I have a few questions, if you're feeling up to it," Caleb said softly. He sat down on the floor so he could look at Essek.

"By all means."

"Did you see a cleric when you were ill?"

Essek colored slightly. "Yes." He rubbed his eyes and took a moment to collect himself. "As I said, I was bedridden. Apparently my fever was quite high."

"It was a serious illness, then." Caleb looked thoughtful. "Did the clerics do anything that helped?"

"I don't know. I don't think they were able to use magic. I don't remember much." Essek shifted slightly, running his hand over his unsettled stomach, thankful that his mantle covered his arms.

"Ah." Caleb went silent for a moment. The only sound in the room was Essek's ragged breathing. "I am sorry."

"For what?" Essek demanded. He turned his head to look at Caleb, letting out a pitiful whine at the sharp pain that shot down his neck.

Caleb tactfully ignored this. "I am sorry that I cannot be more help. You are suffering and I am largely useless." He laughed humorlessly. "The others should return soon, I think. Hopefully Caduceus will have some miracle tea to cure all your ills."

Essek smiled faintly and closed his eyes. "It's my own fault. I shouldn't have left my sickbed so early."

"What?" Caleb said sharply. "Essek, when did your fever break?"

"Ah." Essek opened his eyes again, his head spinning. "Yesterday."

Caleb was silent, his irises twitching slightly as he made mental calculations. "And yet you offered me a lesson," he said softly.

"I wanted to see you," Essek admitted. He cleared his throat. " _ All _ of you."

The chimes above the door sang pleasantly. The door shut, not quite a slam but not gently either.

"Hey, Caleb, are you and Essek done boning yet?" Jester called from downstairs.

"Ugh, gross," Beau said.

Essek blanched and covered his ears.

"Caaaaleb," Jester called again.

"Give him a minute, Jester," Fjord said patiently.

Caleb walked over to the landing. "Ja, I'm coming."

He went down the stairs a lot quicker than he usually would and found the others waiting for him by the front door.

"Something wrong?" Caduceus asked once Caleb was close enough for conversation. Caleb indicated that they should step outside again, so they all piled out the front door and onto the porch.

"What's going on?" Nott asked, pushing past Fjord so she could cling to Caleb's sleeve. "Did Essek bother you? I'll kill him."

"No, no, nothing of the sort." Caleb shook his head. "He's unwell."

Predictably, Caduceus' ears pricked up, but he didn't say anything.

"You mean like he's sick?" Jester asked.

"Or do you mean like crazy?" Beau asked. "You know how, like, as a euphemism or whatever?"

"No, no," Caleb shook his head again. "He's… Ja, well, I suppose he's sick. Well." His hands bunched up in the fabric of his sleeves as he tried to think. "He  _ was _ sick. He is recovering but probably should not have gotten out of bed today, I think. He collapsed but he's not running a fever. I think he's just dehydrated."

"That can be dangerous if left unchecked," Caduceus said.

"So where is he?" Beau demanded, like Caleb might be hiding the handsome, hovering drow behind his back.

"Upstairs in the study," Caleb said. "He's really not feeling well, I think it might be best if Jester and Caduceus just had a look at him."

Beau started to bristle but Fjord nudged her and she deflated.

"Let's go then," Jester said, making for the door. She pounded up the stairs with less delicacy than Caleb would have liked, leaving Caleb and Caduceus trailing in her wake like kite tails.

Essek was looking worse for wear. At some point, he had rolled onto his side and drawn his legs up a bit, curling up under his mantle. His eyes were open and his lips were pressed firmly together.

"Oh, Essek," Jester said softly. She knelt by his torso. "I need to touch you, okay? I  _ promise _ it won't hurt, I just need your hand."

Essek extricated one of his hands from the tangled black of his mantle and presented it to Jester. In the moment before she took it between her own, it shook like a leaf caught in a strong wind.

Jester pressed her palm against Essek's and gently pinched the skin on the back of his hand, shaking her head when it didn't snap back to shape, but crawled slowly until it was flat again.

"It's a  _ really _ good thing Caduceus and I are such awesome clerics," she said to Essek in a conspiratorial whisper. "We'll have you all fixed up in, like,  _ no  _ time."

"How we doing?" Caduceus asked, having evidently reached the study.

"Been better," Essek rasped. He stiffened momentarily.

"He's  _ really _ dehydrated," Jester said.

Caleb shifted his weight guiltily. "I gave him a glass of water but I did not know what else to do. I haven't had much experience…"

"That's good," Caduceus said soothingly. "You did good. Maybe try another glass, and I'll make some broth."

Essek stiffened again, a choked, involuntary sound sneaking past his lips.

"If you don't mind me asking, Mr Essek, what were you sick with before?" Caduceus asked, an uncharacteristic keen look in his eye.

"Fever," Essek said with a shrug. "Coughing. Started with a sore throat and got worse very quickly."

"I see." Caduceus scanned him silently, then turned away. "I'll get a broth going."

Caleb went over to the desk and poured another glass of water. "Can you sit up?"

"Here, I'll help," Jester said brightly. "Lean on me, Essek. It's okay, I'm, like, super strong and stuff."

Essek braced himself against her hand, which was still palm to palm with his, and slowly hauled himself upright. Jester sat next to him and let him lean against her.

"Oh, Jester," he said, blinking. "I was wondering. Could you send a message for me? I had…" He paused and stifled a noise of pain. "Other engagements that I won't be able to make."

"Sure!" Jester said. Caleb passed her the glass of water and she raised it to Essek's lips. "Drink."

Essek managed to swallow a bit without spilling. "I can take that, you know."

"Fiiiine." Jester handed him the glass. "So who do you want me to send a message to? The Bright Queen? I messaged her before and she was cool with it."

"Ah…" Essek took another drink of water, ignoring the low, angry growl his stomach made in response. "I had hoped you could send a message to one of the people I was supposed to meet with-- Mm!" A stab of pain shot all the way around his head and down his neck, causing a wave of nausea to rise in response. He waved his free hand in response to Jester’s concerned look. "B-but if it has to be someone you know, then I suppose we don't really have a choice."

"I mean, you could  _ describe _ them to me?" Jester said. "You don't really seem up to it though."

Essek shook his head, his knuckles pale around the glass in his hand. Almost automatically, he took another long swallow and shuddered.

"Okay, I'll just send a message to the Bright Queen, then!"

Caleb perked his head up, a small smile on his lips in anticipation of what was to come.

"Okay." Jester adopted a look of concentration, her brows knitting and tongue poking out. "Umm." The scent of magic filled the air. "Hiiii, it's Jester! Please excuse Essek from," she hesitated, "everything; he's super sick. Not dying though! We'll take good care of him. Um, okay, well. See you later, then!"

Caleb chuckled to himself.

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Jester straightened again and looked sideways at Essek. "She says to take it easy and relax and  _ totally _ don't worry about anything, just, you know, eat your vegetables and get well soon."

Even when sick, Essek was capable of a deeply penetrating, slightly judgemental stare, which he employed to great effect, twitching one eyebrow up just enough to convey his tacit disbelief.

"Okay, alright, she just thanked me for telling her and said to let her know if you get worse," Jester admitted, throwing up her hands. "Is that  _ better _ ? My version was  _ nicer _ ."

"Still, I appreciate the truth." Essek's head was spinning too badly for him to move and he still had half a glass of water left. He finished it and handed Jester the glass without thinking about it.

He exhaled, a small noise escaping from the back of his throat. Despite everything, he really didn't feel any better. He pulled his mantle tighter about his shoulders, ignoring the childish urge to duck his head beneath and curl into a ball with his face covered.

"Are you cold?" Caleb asked, the smile fading from his face.

"I don't know."

Essek's color hadn't improved at all. He was still squeezing his eyes shut every few moments and shifting around like he couldn't get comfortable.

Caleb watched, an ugly feeling of utter uselessness clawing at the edges of his psyche.

"Forgive me," he said from his position by the desk. Jester looked at him. Essek did not. "Essek, perhaps you might be more comfortable if you, ah, shed some layers. I'm sure we could find some nightclothes for you to wear."

Even after Caleb had directly addressed him, Essek didn't move. He stayed with his head on Jester's shoulders, his eyes glazed and far away. He murmured something in Undercommon, then cleared his throat. "I don't think… I'm not sure it's a good idea." His hands shifted under his mantle, but Caleb couldn't see exactly what he was doing.

"You are dizzy?" Caleb guessed.

Essek made a noncommittal humming sound.

"How about I read to you?" Jester suggested. "We could get you laying down again all comfy and then I could read to you from Tusk Love until you fall asleep!"

Essek was saved from having to answer by the arrival of Caduceus, who was heralded only by the slight creaking of the floorboards beneath his feet.

He was holding a tray with a mug and a teapot.

"Broth's going," he said to the room at large. He walked across the room and Caleb moved out of the way so he could set the tray on the desk. "It'll take a little while to make, but I've got Nott watching it while Beau and Fjord run out and grab some stuff for me."

"What do you have there?" Jester asked, eyeing the teapot with suspicion. "It smells  _ weird _ . Not like  _ bad  _ weird, though."

"Unusual, perhaps," Caleb suggested. He leaned over and sniffed. "Is that… barley tea?"

"It is." Caduceus filled the teacup and handed it to Essek.

"Here, wait." Jester passed the empty water glass to Caduceus. "Since I'm trapped here."

"Oh." Essek straightened, seeming to just realize how heavily he'd been leaning on Jester. "My apologies." He made to scoot over but had to stop, hissing in pain and gripping the back of his head with his free hand.

Caduceus looked at Caleb thoughtfully. "Maybe I should have made willow bark tea. Or mixed them."

"That sounds…" Caleb hesitated, searching for the right word. He didn't find it, so he let his silence do the speaking for him.

"Yeah," Caduceus agreed. "That would taste terrible."

Essek sniffed his tea and took a cautious sip. The taste was unusual but not bad, and the warmth helped quell the awful shivers that had been plaguing him.

"Do you like it?" Jester asked skeptically.

"I don't know," Essek said. He took another careful sip, wary of burning his tongue.

He decided he did like it. It was a small, pleasant thing in the vast world of unpleasantness he currently occupied. He held the cup close to his chest, savoring what little warmth managed to seep through his clothing to his skin.

He took his time drinking it, even after the liquid cooled enough to not scald his mouth. The tight, unpleasant feeling pooling low in his belly had not gotten any better with the addition of a second glass of water, and he doubted that drinking too quickly would do him any favors.

Still, it would be rude to not drink it all.

Essek lifted the teacup and took a bigger swallow, trying not to grimace when his stomach thrashed and tightened in response.

Caduceus straightened suddenly, and looked at him. "You don't have to drink all of that right now if you're not feeling up to it."

"I think I will finish it later," Essek agreed. A wave of nausea rolled through his stomach and he pressed his lips together.

"Caleb, Jester, can you go check on Nott for me?" Caduceus asked them, turning his attention away from Essek for the moment. "See how the broth is coming along."

Caleb's eyes narrowed. "What, both of us?"

"Well,  _ yeah _ , because I'll get  _ bored  _ if I have to walk all the way down the stairs alone," Jester said.

She stood up and Essek carefully lowered himself so he could position his head on the armrest without straightening his legs.

"Ja, alright, then." Caleb followed Jester out the door. 

Essek listened to the stairs creak beneath them while clumsily rearranging the thick fabric of his cloak so he didn't get tangled in it.

Caduceus came over and sat by Essek's feet.

"You okay?"

"Not as such," Essek answered, confused. "I am half-conscious on a couch in the home of a group of people I honestly do not know all that well."

"Not what I meant, but fair point," Caduceus said, shrugging. "I meant about your stomach. You looked like you were feeling a bit sick there, so I thought you might appreciate some privacy."

"I'm trying not to think about it," Essek said.

"That's good." Caduceus ran a hand through his hair absently. "I think we gave you a bit too much a bit too fast. I'm sure you haven't eaten much lately."

"Correct."

"Which is why it's doubly important that you keep everything down today."

"That's.. a bit of a tall order at the moment," Essek admitted. He swallowed thickly as his stomach rolled, seemingly out of sheer spite.

"Normally I'd offer you some ginger or mint tea," Caduceus said, "but, well."

"Mm," Essek said, not trusting himself to say more. He swallowed again.

"Luckily, I do have some other tricks up my sleeve. May I have your hand?"

Essek nodded, though he privately feared he was past the point of no return. Reluctantly, he unwrapped his arm from around his abdomen and presented it to Caduceus palm up.

"I'm just going to roll your sleeve up," Caduceus said, doing so. He placed two fingers on Essek's wrist, and they were pleasantly warm. "There's a pressure point located--"

A sharp salt taste flooded Essek's mouth. He jerked his hand back and sat bolt upright, looking around frantically, both arms wrapped tightly around his stomach.

"That's okay," Caduceus said lightly, also looking around.

There was a small, unobtrusive wastebasket by the desk, where Caleb would often throw away bits of scrap paper during their lessons.

Essek stared at it, steeling himself. He was panting now, swallowing thickly every few seconds, unsure he was going to make it.

Caduceus followed his gaze. "I'll get it." He crossed the room in long strides and set the bin between Essek's knees. "I'd like to try that pressure point again, if you don't mind. It will be better in the long run if you keep everything down."

Essek held his hand out stiffly. It was shaking. Caduceus steadied it in his own and again put his fingers to Essek's wrists. 

"I've never tried this so late in the game before, but it might help," he said. "I'm going to apply pressure to your wrist."

Essek nodded shakily, granting his permission. Caduceus pressed down gently on the inside of Essek's wrist.

"It shouldn't feel unpleasant, but let me know if you want me to stop," Caduceus said.

Essek squeezed his eyes shut. Oh, if his den mother could see him now, the great prodigy Essek Thelyss hunched over a trash can, gritting his teeth in a desperate attempt to keep from spilling the contents of his guts.

A few tears rolled down his cheeks, one dripping off the end of his nose.  _ Perfect _ .

He barely registered Caduceus rubbing small circles into his wrist, no, there was just the cold, urgent inevitability of the awful nausea crawling up his throat.

He swallowed with difficulty. A few more tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped off his nose.

"You're doing great," Caduceus said.

Essek bit his tongue. This was  _ awful. _ He hated being stuck here in this cruel liminal space of nausea too intense to ignore, but apparently not strong enough for him to vomit.

He considered drawing his hand back once more and sticking his fingers down his throat just to get the damned deed over with, but he knew that would only make things worse in the long run.

_ Curse _ him for not taking better care of himself. He should never have allowed himself to fall ill in the first place.

A pulse of pain shot through his head and it was all over. Almost before Essek realized what was happening, his stomach contracted and forced a wave of vomit past his lips.

He moaned, low and long in the back of his throat, a thin line of drool dripping off his lower lip, mingling with the tears that were now pouring down his cheeks.

He wiped his mouth and sat back, quietly furious with himself yet pathetically grateful to finally be free of the pain and nausea that had been dogging him for the majority of the day. Even his head felt better.

"That's alright," Caduceus said, somewhat absently. He let Essek's hand go and said "Oh, that’s nice."

Essek looked up. Caleb was standing above him, proffering a glass of water.

"Thank you," Essek rasped, taking it with both hands. He rinsed his mouth, then swallowed what few mouthfuls of water he could manage, out of breath as he was. Even sitting upright felt like  _ work _ .

"Rest now," Caduceus said softly. He got up so Essek could arrange himself comfortably. 

"Feel better, Essek," Caleb said.

Essek closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked!
> 
> I wrote this on my phone, so please feel free to point out any weird typos or errors that affect readability.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr as EthereousDelirious and I take requests 👍🏼
> 
> Oh, also, the title is a partial quote from Crime and Punishment taken WILDLY out of context. I just needed a title and couldn't think of anything heehoo


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